Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?
Because she was in the non-friction section.
Why did the vampire check out a drawing book?
He wanted to learn how to draw blood.
Q. Why is that library book you’re trying to find always in the last place you look? A. Because once you find it, you stop looking.
Q. Why does an elephant use his trunk as a bookmark?
A. That way he always nose where he stopped reading.
Q. Why does the ghost come back to the library every day for more books?
A. Because she goes through them too quickly.
Q. Why didn’t the skeleton come back to the library with an overdue book?
A. He was too gutless.
Q. Why don’t elephants ever pay overdue fines?
A. They always bring their books back on time. An elephant never forgets!
Q. What did the detective do when he didn’t believe the librarian’s story?
A. He booked her!
Q. What king of medieval England was famous because he spent so many nights at his Round Table writing books?
A. King Author!
Q. What reference book should you use when you forget your shovel?
A. The dig-tionary.
Q. When a goose goes to the library, what books does she look for?
A. Peoplebumps books!
Q. If you travel to Eastern Europe, why won’t you find any books in
Prague’s public library?
A. They’re all “Czech”ed out!
Part 1: Q. What building has the most stories?
A. The library, of course!
Part 2: Q. If a student goes to a seven-story library
and checks out seven books, how many are left?
A. None. The library had only seven stories!
Q. Where does a librarian sleep?
A. Between the covers.
Q. When a librarian goes fishing, what goes on her hook?
A. A bookworm, of course.
Q. What does a librarian eat dinner from?
A. A bookplate.
Q. What does the Mummy do when he goes to the library?
A. He gets all wrapped up in a good book.
Customer: I am looking for a globe of the earth.
Librarian: We have a table-top model over here.
Customer: No, that’s not good enough. Don’t you have a life-size?
Librarian: [pauses] Yes, but it’s in use right now.’
Marion [none too bright] walks into the library and says to the librarian, ‘Can I have a burger and fries?’
Librarian [whispering]: ‘Ssssh…Sorry, this is a library.’
Marion: [whispering also] ‘Oh, may I have a burger and fries?’
Why did the sparrow fly into the library?
It was looking for bookworms.
A frog walked into a library and asked the librarian what he would recommend.
“How about this sir?” asked the librarian, showing him Toad of Toad Hall.
“Reddit, reddit,” said the frog.