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P G Wodehouse

Famous as Playwright and Author

Born on 15 October 1881

Born in Guildford, Surrey, UK

Died on 14 February 1975

Nationality United States

Works & Achievements The Inimitable Jeeves, The Adventures of Sally and The Pothunters; Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire (1975)

Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse was an English satirist, author and a comic novelist who created the famous fictional characters of Bertie Wooster and Reginald Jeeves. In his unusual seventy three years long career, Wodehouse wrote 15 plays and 250 lyrics for over 30 musical comedies and earned praise as a Master of parody and English prose. The writer witnessed an enormous success for his works such as The Inimitable Jeeves, Carry on Jeeves, Right Ho Jeeves and still continues to be read worldwide. He also worked as a playwright and lyricist, writing lyrics for numerous songs, including the same for the hit song Bill in Snow Boat. A number of his plays, including A Damsel in Distress and The Girl On The Boat have made it to the silver screen and have been adopted in to film. In his later years, Wodehouse took a permanent residence in the United States following a political upheaval in England causing his arrest and imprisonment for suspected treachery.

Childhood & Education

Pelham Grenville Wodehouse was born on 15 October 1881 in Guildford, England to Henry Ernest Wodehouse and his wife Eleanor Wodehouse and was the third of four sons born to his parents. Wodehouse’s father was a British Judge in Hong Kong at the time of his birth and after living with his parents for sometime, Wodehouse was sent to England for schooling. In 1894, he was admitted in to Dulwich College where he did well in both academics and sports and edited the college magazine Alleynian for two years. He also actively participated in musical and theatrical roles, and represented his school at Rugby and boxing. He received his graduate degree in 1900.

 Early Career

Two years after his graduation, Wodehouse took up a job with the Hong Kong and Shanghai bank in London, (Today’s HSBC), but soon realized his lack of interest in Banking. He left the job and started to write, alternating between England and the United States. In 1902, he received his first job as a journalist and began working with a newspaper The Globe where he was responsible for the comic column. His first novel The Pothunters was published in year 1902 followed by A Perfect Uncle in 1903, Love Among the Chickens in 1906, The Swoop in 1909 and P smith in The City in 1910.


Other novels The Prince and Betty and P Smith, Journalist came in 1914 and 1915 respectively. He resigned from the paper and began to write for Vanity Fair. Aside from this, he wrote stories for school magazines, and worked as a freelancer for magazines as Cosmopolitan and Collier’s. He also collaborated with Guy Bolton and Jerome Kern and began writing lyrics for musical comedies. Around 1930, Wodehouse gained opportunities to work as screenwriter in Hollywood, for which he boasted to have received huge money. His novels were also published in magazines such as The Saturday Evening Post and The Strand which gave him further exposure and cemented his financial stability.

 Marriage & Children

 Wodehouse married Ethel Wayman in 1914 in New York. The couple did not have their own child and Wodehouse informally adopted Leonora, Ethel’s daughter from her previous marriage. It is also suggested that Wodehouse was rendered infertile after contracting mumps in his childhood- May be factor that he did not have any biological child. Leonora died during his internment in Germany.

 Life Abroad and Political upheavals

After the year 1914, Wodehouse kept on moving between England and the United States and settled in France in 1934. Even with the outbreak of World War II in 1939, instead of returning to his homeland, he decided to remain there- only to be arrested by the Germans in 1940. He was detained for almost one year during which he first kept in Belgium and then transferred to Tost (Toszek) in Upper Silesia. After his release, He spoke of his experience in Radio broadcasts to his fans in America from Berlin making small jokes. However, a war time England did not take these comments well and it led to speculations about his alleged collaboration with the Nazis.

 Now what was started with a foolish act of Wodehouse, turned into severe accusations and he was charged with treason. The government passed orders banning and censoring his books and several libraries in England removed his books from their shelves. He faced accusations and criticism from all sides. Still there were few people who defended him and tried to establish his innocence in the matter. Among them were Evelyn Waugh and George Orwell. Investigations ensued, and it was revealed that he was imprudent but not a traitor.

 Later Life & Death

However, the incident made him leave England permanently and Wodehouse and his wife settled in New York, where they lived in Remsen burg, Long Island until his death. They never returned to his homeland and became U.S. citizens in 1955. In 1975 Wodehouse was made a Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire, at the age of 93. The award was received by his wife on his behalf because of poor health condition.

 P.G. Wodehouse died on 14 February 1975 and now rests in the Remsen Burg Cemetery in New York State USA. His wife Ethel was buried next to him after her death in 1984. In 2000, The Bollinger everyman Wodehouse Prize was created dedicating it to him and is awarded for the best comic writing in the UK each year.



1881- Pelham Grenville Wodehouse was born on 15 October.

1894- He was admitted in to Dulwich College.

1900- He received his graduate degree.

1902- He received his first job as a journalist with The Globe.

1902- His first novel The Pothunters was published.

1914- Wodehouse married Ethel Wayman.

1934- He settled in France.

1939- World War II broke out.

1940- Wodehouse was arrested by the Germans.

1955- The Wodehouse couple became U.S. citizens.

1975- Wodehouse was knighted by the British Government.

1975- P.G. Wodehouse died on 14 February.

1984- His wife Ethel Died.

2000- The ‘Bollinger everyman Wodehouse Prize’ was created in UK.


Selected works:

The Pothunters, 1902

A Perfect Uncle, 1903

Tales of St. Austin’s, 1903

The Gold Bat, 1904

William Tell Told Again, 1904

The Head of Kays, 1905

Love Among the Chickens, 1906

The White Feather, 1907

Not George Washington, 1907

The Globe by the Way Book, 1908

Enter Psmith, 1909

Mike, a Public School Story, 1909

The Swoop! Or, How Clarence Saved England, 1909

Psmith in the City, 1910

The Intrusion of Jimmy, 1910

A Gentleman of Leisure, 1910

The Prince and Betty, 1912

A Thief for a Night, 1913 (play, with John Stapleton)

The Little Nugget, 1914

The Man Upstairs, 1914

Something Fresh, 1915.

The Man with Two Left Feet, 1917

Psmith, Journalist, 1916

Uneasy Money, 1917

Have a Heart, 1917

Leave it to Jane, 1917 (musical comedy with Kern and Guy Bolton)

Oh, Lady! Lady! 1918 (play, with John Bolton)

Piccadilly Jim, 1918 – film 1936, dir. by Robert Z. Leonard

A Damsel in Distress, 1919

Their Mutual Child, 1919

The Little Warrior, 1920

Sally, 1920 (play, with John Bolton)

The Coming of Bill, 1920

The Indiscretions of Archie, 1921

The Clicking of Cuthbert, 1922

The Girl on the Boat, 1922

Three Men and a Maid, 1922

Jeeves, 1923

Leave it to Psmith, 1923

The Adventures of Sally, 1923

Tales of St. Austins, 1923

The Inimitable Jeeves, 1923

Sitting Pretty, 1924 (play, with John Bolton)

Ukridge, 1924

A Prefects Uncle, 1924

Golf Without Tears, 1924

Bill the Conqueror, 1924

Carry On, Jeeves, 1925

Sam the Sudden, 1925

Oh Kay! 1926 (play, with John Bolton)

The Play’s the Thing, 1926 (play)

He Rather Enjoyed It, 1926

The Heart of a Goof, 1926

Her Cardboard Lover, 1927 (play)

The Small Barchelor, 1927

Carry On, Jeeves, 1927

Divots, 1927

Good Morning, Bill, 1928 (play)

Money For Nothing, 1928

Summer Lightning, 1929

Fish Preferred, 1929

Little Warrior, 1929

Very Good Jeeves! 1930

Mr. Mulliner Speaking, 1930

If I Were You, 1931

Big Money, 1931

Jeeves Omnibus, 1931

Hot Water, 1932

Doctor Sally, 1932

Nothing But Wodehouse, 1932

Heavy Weather, 1933

Mulliner Nights, 1933

Anything Goes, 1934

Thank You, Jeeves, 1934

Methuen’s Library of Humour: P.G. Wodehouse, 1934

Brinkley Manor, 1934

Mulliner Omnibus, 1935

The Inside Stand, 1935 (play)

Blandings Castle and Elsewhere, 1935

Enter Psmith, 1935

Laughing Gas, 1936

The Luck of the Bedkins, 1936

Young Men in Spats, 1936

Lord Emsworth and Others, 1937

Crime Wave at Blandings, 1937

Summer Moonshine, 1937

The Code of the Woorsters, 1938

Uncle Fred in Springtime, 1939

… Dudley is Back to Normal, 1940

Eggs, Beans, and Crumpets, 1940

Quick Service, 1940

Wodehouse on Golf, 1940

Money in the Bank, 1942

Joy in the Morning, 1946

Full Moon, 1947

Spring Feaver, 1948

Uncle Dynamite, 1948

The Mating Season, 1949

The Best of Wodehouse, 1949

Performing Flea, 1951

Nothing Serious, 1951

The Old Reliable, 1951

The Weekend Wodehouse, 1951

Pigs Have Wings, 1952

Angel Cake, 1952

Barmie in Wonderland, 1952

Bring on the Girls, 1953 (play, with John Bolton)

Ring for Jeeves, 1953

Performing Flea, 1953

Mike at Wrykym, 1953

Return to Jeeves, 1954

Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit, 1954

Bertie Woorster Sees It Through, 1955

America, I Like You, 1956

Something Fishy, 1957

Over Seventy, 1957

The Butler Did It, 1957

Coctail Time, 1958

Few Quick Ones, 1959

The Most of P.G. Wodehouse, 1960

Jeeves in the Offing, 1960

French Leave, 1960

Ice in the Bedroom, 1961

The Most of P.G. Wodehouse, 1961

Author! Author! 1962

Service with a Smile, 1962

A Gentleman of Leisure, 1962

Stiff Upper Lip, 1963

Frozen Assets, 1964

Biffens Millions, 1964

The Brinksmanship of Galahad Threepwood, 1965

Plum Pie, 1966

The World of Jeeves, 1967

The Purloined Paperweigh, 1967

Do Butlers Burgler Banks, 1968

Galahad at Blandings, 1969

A Pelican at Blandings, 1969

No Nudes Is Good Nudes, 1970

The Girl in Blue, 1970

Much Obliged, Jeeves, 1971

Jeeves and the Tie That Binds, 1971

A Prefects Uncle, 1972

Pearls, Girls, and Monty Bodkin, 1972

The Bachelors Anonymous, 1973

The Plot That Thickened, 1973

Aunts Aren’t Gentlemen, 1974

The Golf Omnibus, 1974

The World of Psmith, 1974

The World of Ukridge, 1975

The Cat-Nappers, 1975

The World of Blandings, 1976

Jeeves, 1976

The Uncollected Wodehouse, 1976

Vintage Wodehouse, 1977

Sunset at Hundings, 1977

Wodehouse at Work to the End, 1977

Sunset at Blandings, 1978

Wodehouse on Wodehouse, 1980

Wodehouse on Crime, 1981

The World of Uncle Fred, 1983

Fore! 1983

The World of Wodehouse Clergy, 1984

The Hollywood Omnibus, 1985

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50 Quotes on Forgiveness

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“Forgiveness is God’s invention for coming to terms with a world in which, despite their best intentions, people are unfair to each other and hurt each other deeply. He began by forgiving us. And he invites us all to forgive each other.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“None of us wants to admit that we hate someone…When we deny our hate we detour around the crisis of forgiveness. We suppress our spite, make adjustments, and make believe we are too good to be hateful. But the truth is that we do not dare to risk admitting the hate we feel because we do not dare to risk forgiving the person we hate.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love, and broods over us while we die. Our hate does not even have the decency to die when those we hate die–for it is a parasite sucking OUR blood, not theirs. There is only one remedy for it. [forgiveness]

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“Their pain [the injurer’s pain at having injured you] and your pain create the point and counterpoint for the rhythm of reconciliation. When the beat of their pain is a response to the beat of yours, they have become truthful in their feelings…they have moved a step closer to a truthful reunion.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“…Forgiving is not having to understand. Understanding may come later, in fragments, an insight here and a glimpse there, after forgiving.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything…We don’t have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve


“The rule is: we cannot really forgive ourselves unless we look at the failure in our past and call it by its right name.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“If we say that monsters [people who do terrible evil] are beyond forgiving, we give them a power they should never have…they are given the power to keep their evil alive in the hearts of those who suffered most. We give them power to condemn their victims to live forever with the hurting memory of their painful pasts. We give the monsters the last word.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“With a little time, and a little more insight, we begin to see both ourselves and our enemies in humbler profiles. We are not really as innocent as we felt when we were first hurt. And we do not usually have a gigantic monster to forgive; we have a weak, needy, and somewhat stupid human being. When you see your enemy and yourself in the weakness and silliness of the humanity you share, you will make the miracle of forgiving a little easier.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“We forgive freely or we do not really forgive at all.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“The problem with revenge is that it never gets what it wants; it never evens the score. Fairness never comes. The chain reaction set off by every act of vengeance always takes its unhindered course. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain…Why do family feuds go on and on?…the reason is simple: no two people, no two families, ever weigh pain on the same scale.”

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

“Gandhi was right: if we all live by ‘an eye for an eye’ the whole world will be blind. The only way out is forgiveness.”

Sidney and Suzanne Simon – Forgiveness: How To Make Peace With Your Past And Get On With Your Life”

All the years you have waited for them to “make it up to you” and all the energy you expended trying to make them change (or make them pay) kept the old wounds from healing and gave pain from the past free rein to shape and even damage your life. And still they may not have changed. Nothing you have done has made them change. Indeed, they may never change. Inner peace is found by changing yourself, not the people who hurt you. And you change yourself for yourself, for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, and bright future that you get.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“When you give up vengeance, make sure you are not giving up on justice. The line between the two is faint, unsteady, and fine…Vengeance is our own pleasure of seeing someone who hurt us getting it back and then some. Justice, on the other hand, is secure when someone pays a fair penalty for wronging another even if the injured person takes no pleasure in the transaction. Vengeance is personal satisfaction. Justice is moral accounting…Human forgiveness does not do away with human justice.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“I have discovered that most people who tell me that they cannot forgive a person who wronged them are handicapped by a mistaken understanding of what forgiving is.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“God is the original, master forgiver. Each time we grope our reluctant way through the minor miracle of forgiving, we are imitating his style. I am not at all sure that any of us would have had imagination enough to see the possibilities in this way to heal the wrongs of this life had he not done it first.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“It takes one person to forgive, it takes two people to be reunited.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“A wise judge may let mercy temper justice but may not let mercy undo it.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“Forgiving is an affair strictly between a victim and a victimizer. Everyone else should step aside…The worst wounds I ever felt were the ones people gave to my children. Wrong my kids, you wrong me. And my hurt qualifies me to forgive you. But only for the pain you caused me when you wounded them. My children alone are qualified to forgive you for what you did to them.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“I am certain that people never forgive because they believe they have an obligation to do it or because someone told them to do it. Forgiveness has to come from inside as a desire of the heart. Wanting to is the steam that pushes the forgiving engine.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How


“Not even God can make something fair out of what is intrinsically unfair. Only one thing can be done. Something must break through the crust of unfairness and create a chance for a new fairness. Only forgiveness can make the breakthrough.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“God invented forgiving as a remedy for a past that not even he could change and not even he could forget. His way of forgiving is the model for our forgiving.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“I worry about fast forgivers. They tend to forgive quickly in order to avoid their pain. Or they forgive fast in order to get an advantage over the people they forgive. And their instant forgiving only makes things worse…People who have been wronged badly and wounded deeply should give themselves time and space before they forgive…There is a right moment to forgive. We cannot predict it in advance; we can only get ourselves ready for it when it arrives…Don’t do it quickly, but don’t wait too long…If we wait too long to forgive, our rage settles in and claims squatter’s rights to our souls.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“Spoken forgiving, no matter how heartfelt, works best when we do not demand the response we want. I mean that when we tell people we forgive them, we must leave them free to respond to our good news however they are inclined. If the response is not what we hoped for, we can go home and enjoy our own healing in private.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“How many times should you forgive your household bruiser? You should not even think about forgiving him. Not yet. Not as long as he has his foot on your neck. Your problem at this point is not forgiving. Your problem is how to get out of his reach. Once you get away from him, you can think about forgiving him.”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“Forgive a wife-slammer if you can. But you don’t have to live with him. Forgive a husband who is abusing your children if you can. But only after you kick him out of the house. And if you can’t get him out, get help. It’s available. In the meantime, don’t let him near the kids, and don’t let anyone tell you that if you forgive him it means you have to stay with him. [There’s an important difference between forgiving a person and tolerating their bad behavior.]”

Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“Forgiving does not usually happen at once. It is a process, sometimes a long one, especially when it comes to wounds gouged deep. And we must expect some lapses…some people seem to manage to finish off forgiving in one swoop of the heart. But when they do, you can bet they are forgiving flesh wounds. Deeper cuts take more time and can use a second coat.”


Lewis B. Smedes – The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don’t Know How

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”

Beverly Flanigan – Forgiving The Unforgivable: Overcoming the Legacy of Intimate Wounds

“Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting…A wounded person cannot–indeed, should not–think that a faded memory can provide an expiation of the past. To forgive, one must remember the past, put it into perspective, and move beyond it. Without remembrance, no wound can be transcended.”

Beverly Flanigan – Forgiving The Unforgivable: Overcoming the Legacy of Intimate Wounds”

A [seemingly] unforgivable injury is a profound and irreversible assault on the fundamental belief system of the person who has been injured…It is not the battering but what happens to a battered woman’s beliefs as a result of the battering that makes [the injury seemingly so] unforgivable…[the most serious] injuries separate people from the very ideas they once believed were true–beliefs about themselves, the world, other people, good and bad, right and wrong, the future, and even the validity of the history they have shared with the person who hurt them…The forgiving process is one in which both morality and meaning are defined and redefined until the world again makes sense [to the person injured].”

Beverly Flanigan – Forgiving The Unforgivable: Overcoming the Legacy of Intimate Wounds

“Forgiveness is a rebirth of hope, a reorganization of thought, and a reconstruction of dreams. Once forgiving begins, dreams can be rebuilt. When forgiving is complete, meaning has been extracted from the worst of experiences and used to create a new set of moral rules and a new interpretation of life’s events.”

Beverly Flanigan – Forgiving The Unforgivable: Overcoming the Legacy of Intimate Wounds

“In a way, forgiving is only for the brave. It is for those people who are willing to confront their pain, accept themselves as permanently changed, and make difficult choices. Countless individuals are satisfied to go on resenting and hating people who wrong them. They stew in their own inner poisons and even contaminate those around them. Forgivers, on the other hand, are not content to be stuck in a quagmire. They reject the possibility that the rest of their lives will be determined by the unjust and injurious acts of another person.”

Gordon Dalbey – Letter to the Editor, The Christian Century (November 20-7, 1991)

“The Risen Christ proclaimed not that we ‘have to forgive,’ but rather, that at last we CAN forgive–and thereby free ourselves from consuming bitterness and the offender from our binding condemnation. This process requires genuine human anger and grief, plus–and here is the awful cost of such freedom–a humble willingness to see the offender as God sees that person, in all his or her terrible brokenness and need for God’s saving power. I would never tell another, ‘You have to forgive.’ But my uncomfortable duty as a Christian is to confess the truth, so lethal to our self-centered human nature: ‘Jesus, who suffered your sin unto his own death, calls you likewise to forgive, so that God’s purposes may be accomplished in both you and your offender.”

Lewis Smedes – Forgiveness: The Power To Change The Past (article, Christianity Today, January 7, 1983)

“Vengeance is having a videotape planted in your soul that cannot be turned off. It plays the painful scene over and over again inside your mind…And each time it plays you feel the clap of pain again…Forgiving turns off the videotape of pained memory Forgiving sets you free.”

Lewis Smedes – Forgiveness: The Power To Change The Past (article, Christianity Today, January 7, 1983)

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Philip Yancey – The Unnatural Act (article, Christianity Today, April 8, 1991)

“Forgiveness is the only way to break the cycle of blame–and pain–in a relationship…It does not settle all questions of blame and justice and fairness…But it does allow relationships to start over. In that way, said Solzhenitsyn, we differ from all animals. It is not our capacity to think that makes us different, but our capacity to repent, and to forgive.”

Old Chinese Proverb –

“The one who pursues revenge should dig two graves.”

Allen C. Guelzo – Fear Of Forgiving (article, Christianity Today, February 8, 1993)

“It is possible to have pardon without forgiveness–a murderer can be pardoned by the governor, but that does not mean the victim’s family has forgiven him. And there can be forgiveness without pardon. In 1986, Michael Saward, a well-known Anglican evangelical, answered the door of his London vicarage. The three men who stood in his doorway pounded Saward over the head with a cricket bat, fracturing his skull. Then they broke into the vicarage, raped Saward’s daughter, and beat up her boyfriend. The three were quickly arrested, and in a television interview shortly afterward, a badly battered Saward touched the British nation by publicly forgiving his assailants. But when the men were sentenced to prison terms of three to five years, Saward frankly criticized the sentences as too lenient.”

Robert D. Enright et alia – Must a Christian Require Repentance Before Forgiving? [Luke 17:3] (article, Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 1990)

“It is potentially dangerous if pastoral counselors insist on a client’s withholding forgiveness until the other repents. We can easily imagine a devastated client who is trapped in bitterness or even hatred because of the legalistic requirement that the other must repent. The client’s psychological well-being is now dependent on the other’s response.”


George Herbert –

“He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven.”

Lance Morrow – (article, Time Magazine, January 9, 1984)

“Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. Not to forgive is to yield oneself to another’s control…to be locked into a sequence of act and response, of outrage and revenge, tit for tat, escalating always. The present is endlessly overwhelmed and devoured by the past. Forgiveness frees the forgiver. It extracts the forgiver from someone else’s nightmare.”

Carol Luebering – Finding A Way To Forgive (article, CareNotes)

“You can’t forgive what you refuse to remember, any more than you can seek treatment for a disease whose symptoms you have yet to notice.”

Carol Luebering – Finding A Way To Forgive (article, CareNotes)

“Let’s get one thing straight: Forgiving is not something you do for someone else. It is not even something you do because you SHOULD, according to the standards of religious belief or human decency. Forgiving is something that you do for yourself. It is one way of becoming the person you were created to be–and fulfilling God’s dream of you is the only way to true wholeness and happiness. You NEED to forgive so that you can move forward with life. An unforgiven injury binds you to a time and place someone else has chosen; it holds you trapped in a past moment and in old feelings.”

Carol Luebering – Finding A Way To Forgive (article, CareNotes)

“Ask for divine help in your struggle to forgive. The God of the Judeo-Christian tradition has an ancient reputation for compassion and mercy. Try praying FOR your enemy. Don’t just ask for a change in that person’s heart or behavior; really pray FOR him or her. You may find it hard to find words for such a prayer, but words are not necessary to the God who knows your mind and heart. Just stand before God with that person at your side, and let God’s love wash over both of you until it penetrates your heart.”

Joan Borysenko – Forgiveness: A Bold Choice For A Peaceful Heart (in Preface to this book by Robin Casarjian)

“Forgiveness entails the authentic acceptance of our own worthiness as human beings, the understanding that mistakes are opportunities for growth, awareness and the cultivation of compassion, and the realization that the extension of love to ourselves and others is the glue that holds the universe together. Forgiveness…is not a set of behaviors, but an attitude.”

Robin Casarjian – Forgiveness: A Bold Choice For A Peaceful Heart



“Sometimes forgiving was easy for me; sometimes forgiving was a very bold choice. Whatever kind of choice it was, it always led me to a more peaceful heart. It always left me happier and free to move on to create healthier relationships with others and with myself.”

Robin Casarjian – Forgiveness: A Bold Choice For A Peaceful Heart

“Sometimes choices are made in the name of forgiveness while what is occurring isn’t forgiveness at all. It is important not to confuse being forgiving with denying your own feelings, needs, and desires. Forgiving doesn’t mean being passive and staying in a job or a relationship that clearly doesn’t work for you or is abusive. It is important that you are clear about your boundaries. What is acceptable for you? If you are willing to allow unacceptable behavior again and again in the name of ‘forgiveness,’ you are more than likely using ‘forgiveness’ as an excuse not to take responsibility for taking care of yourself or as a way to avoid making changes.”

Robin Casarjian – Forgiveness: A Bold Choice For A Peaceful Heart

“Don’t allow your self-forgiveness to be contingent upon somebody else’s readiness or willingness to forgive you. They may get something out of holding on to anger that they aren’t ready to let go of. They may be too frightened or wounded to let go of their anger. Feeling angry may be an important part of their healing process at this time. Allow others to be where they are. Respect their right to feel the way they feel.”



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Risk-Take Your Way to Success

By: Ken Austin


Have you ever noticed a theme with successful people?  Nine times out of ten, there was a risk involved and the person needed to take a chance in order to succeed.


Risk-taking is scary for most of us.  We’ve been taught to be careful and take baby steps toward our dreams.  There’s nothing wrong with this approach, except that it can limit our progress if we hang back for too long!  And the longer we hang back, the harder it is to keep moving forward.  We get locked into a rut of inertia and can’t seem to move past it.


Believe it or not, risk is not such a terrible thing if you view it from the right perspective.  Most people look at it from the perspective of what they stand to lose if it doesn’t work out.  But what do you stand to gain if it DOES work out?


Below you’ll find a simple process to determine which risks might be worth taking:


1) What do you stand to gain?  With any risk, you’ll want to first look at the potential gains.  Make a list of what you stand to gain from moving forward on a risk, and include as much detail as you can.  Consider every possible positive benefit you stand to receive.


2) What are the possible negative consequences?  Along with the positive benefits, there are always a few possible negative consequences to every risk.  Make another list of these, again thinking about all the possible things that could go wrong, and what would happen if they did.


3) Balance, balance, balance.  Now compare the two lists and see which one has the strongest likelihood of coming to fruition.  Would the gains be worth the risk?  Would you be able to handle the negative consequences if they did happen?  Are there any options for a middle ground decision, like taking smaller risks to start?


4) How realistic are your fears?  Take another look at your list of negative consequences and ask yourself how likely they are to happen.  The majority of the time you’ll probably find that your fears don’t have any real substance – they’re just fears.  Evaluate each possibility carefully and determine whether it’s a real threat or not.


5) Go with your gut.  After carefully weighing the pros and cons, you should have a solid sense of whether you should take the risk now, or wait a bit longer.  There’s no shame in deciding to hold back if you decide you can’t handle the negative consequences right now!  Remember, you can always re-evaluate the same risk (and others) at a later time and see if conditions have improved at all.


Just by getting into the habit of evaluating your risks in this way, you empower yourself with the confidence to push through inertia and move steadily toward the success you desire.



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